How to cure the empty-nest syndrome? Fill it with a love of the outdoors!
I asked my friend, Ness, if she would do an interview for campgirlz & she graciously agreed. I met her on a message board dedicated to canoeing and kayaking, called paddling.net. (where she routinely wins photo contests, by the way)
It is incredible how a love of paddling can bring friends together from all over the world.
Vanessa “Ness” W. has been married 26 years, has a grown son and stepdaughter, and didn’t really learn to be outdoorsy until she became an empty-nester. She now solo canoes and camps frequently with her husband, and several friends. Ness started out kayaking, learned to tent camp, graduated to canoeing, learned to paddle-in primitive canoe camp, and most recently has taken up whitewater canoeing. Ness lives in Western New York, and works full time. When she’s not paddling and camping, she runs several Yahoogroups on cooking, recycling, and paddling in WNY, and also volunteers to lead monthly singalongs for nursing home residents.
When did you first camp?
In the 1960s, my parents bought a huge canvas tent so our family of 6 could take camping vacations, as that was all they could afford.
What are your memories of that experience?
I don’t remember camping ever being what I’d call “fun”. There was little exploring or hiking, no splashing around in creeks, and definitely no getting dirty — my mom always wanted us to stay clean. My parents weren’t outdoorsy types. They never seemed to enjoy camping. No wonder: the big, heavy tent, the huge pump-up air mattresses, the bulky flannel and cotton sleeping bags, plus cooking and watching out for 4 kids must have seemed like just more work for my squeaky-clean homemaker mom.
What other camping experiences did you have?
I cabin camped once in the mid 1970s (10th grade) with my high school group in the middle 1970s. In the mid 1980s, I cabin camped with my husband and kids at a local state park.
Did you like it?
The high school cabin camper was fun because of the group of friends I camped with. But, I disliked the bugs, the ratty old CCC cabins, and the outhouses. And, a mouse in the cabin ran up my pants leg! But I overlooked all that, because we were in a fun setting that resulted in laughter and good memories.
As for cabin camping with my husband, after two times, that was it! My husband’s habit of bringing everything but the kitchen sink, then leaving me to do all the child care and cooking and cleaning up while he sat back and had “a cold one”, left me fuming. I also did not like the dirty cabins and the bugs * esp. the big black carpenter ants running up my son’s arms and legs while he was sleeping in the cabin! I also cleaned up all the dirty gear and stuff once we got home, as hubby was content to let it sit for days and possibly weeks. Those were the final nails in the coffin on camping for me.
Why did you decide to give camping a try again?
In 2006, I gave camping another try because of paddling, my true passion, which I had been actively engaged in since 2004. But, this time it was tent camping, and it involved paddling as part of the whole experience. It was paddling that got me to camp again.
What was different this time?
I was invited to join a group of whitewater paddlers for a weekend on the Middle Youghiogheny River. I had to tent camp to be able to paddle the river. My first response was to being invited was, “I don’t camp, and I don’t do whitewater.” I definitely had the curiosity to try the whitewater, but the camping part almost scared me off. A very persuasive friend reasoned with me that many new places to paddle would open up to me if I camped. So, I was talked into it. My friend and even the group would help me if I needed assistance (such as setting the tent up). Since my husband did not paddle at the time, and I did not want to travel 6 hours to my destination alone, I enlisted a girlfriend to come along.
Why did you like it this time around?
I was surrounded by a group of people who loved paddling, and camping. And they gave lots of encouragement and advice, freely. They knew how to have fun. They didn’t criticize what I did, they helped me if I needed help, and they didn’t expect me to clean up after them! I also appreciated the support from the girlfriend who drove there with me, who was a more experienced tent camper than me. We shared a tent, but in future, I learned solo tenting is the way to go, at least for me.
Since then, I have taken many paddle-n-camp trips. I always combine camping with paddling, whether it’s paddling from a base camp on a reservoir, or paddling for a few days down a scenic river. And a few years ago, my husband got his own canoe, and joined me, too. Now we love to go to the Adirondacks together; we pack all our gear in our canoes and camp for several days. However, the way to go for us is separate canoes, as well as separate tents (hubby snores!).
What skills have you learned as a woman camper?
I have learned how and what to pack for a trip: clothes, food and gear, and how to start a fire, (but I can still use practice). I can cook on an open fire, pitch my own tent, paddle my own canoe, and load it for a trip. I am much more independent. I can now rely on myself, rather than someone else. I learned through trial and error, through advice and reading up, by talking to other women campers and paddlers, and by watching more experienced campers.
In your opinion, does the process of learning (to camp/ try a new activity) differ for women than for men?
Many women from my generation (I’m a Baby Boomer) were not taught to embrace the outdoors and sports the way men were. We were not taught to be independent, nor to explore. These were things we had to learn as older women.
Where do you see yourself going from here with what you have learned?
Some of my goals are to camp lighter, portage more, hike more while camping, and paddle-in primitive camp for longer periods of time.
What advice do you have for women who would like to learn to camp?
You can always learn something new. You can overcome your fears. You can develop new skills. There are resources out there to help you. And never give up on trying something new, even if it takes more than a few tries.
Add A Comment